It’s common for prospective surrogates to be motivated to this path because of a family member or friend facing infertility. Many people — single people, LGBT people and those struggling with infertility — are unable to have a family on their own. If you’re considering becoming a surrogate mother for a family member or friend, you are taking a selfless path to helping your loved one achieve one of their greatest desires.
In many ways, being a surrogate mother for a family member is no different than being a surrogate for anyone else. The steps of the process are essentially the same, excepting the requirement of finding a surrogacy partner. In fact, some of these steps may be easier because of the existing relationship and trust between the intended parents and you.
However, just because you are choosing to be a surrogate for a family member or friend does not mean you can skip the important steps of protecting your rights with legal assistance. Regardless of an existing relationship and trust, all surrogates must be represented by a separate lawyer than their intended parents — and their rights must not be ignored.
Attorney Kevin Kenney has helped many surrogates navigate an independent surrogacy with a friend or family member. He is dedicated to protecting your rights and making sure you are comfortable with the legal path ahead of you. Remember, you are never obligated to pursue surrogacy for a friend or family member; Kevin will ensure you are aware of your legal rights.
To learn more about the legal process of surrogacy in Kansas City, please contact Kevin at 913-671-8008.
Often, women ask:
Can a sister be a surrogate for a brother or for a sister?
Can I become a surrogate for my cousin?
Is being a surrogate for a friend even possible?
The answers to these questions are all yes — but only if a prospective surrogate meets the eligibility requirements set by all surrogacy professionals. Just because she has an existing relationship with the intended parents does not mean she can surpass what is required of all women making this choice.
Before you complete surrogacy for family members or friends, know that you must meet these general requirements:
- Age range of 21–40
- A healthy BMI, usually between 19–30
- No smoking or use of illicit drugs
- At least one successful pregnancy
- Raising a child in your own home
- No major complications from past pregnancies
- No criminal background
- No tattoos or piercings in the last 12 months
In addition to these requirements, each surrogacy agency and fertility clinic has its own requirements for prospective surrogates. Make sure to contact one to learn more. If you do not meet these basic qualifications, you cannot pursue a surrogate pregnancy for a family member or friend — for the safety of everyone involved.
Important Questions About Being a Surrogate for a Friend or Family Member
Just like any other surrogates, a woman considering becoming a surrogate mother for a friend or family member will have some important questions. Surrogacy is not right for everyone; it’s critical that you evaluate your own feelings and personal situation before deciding to pursue this life-changing path.
Here are a few common questions people have when considering being a surrogate mother for a family member or friend:
- “Someone has asked me to be a surrogate. How do I know if it’s right for me?”
You may have never considered surrogacy before a loved one in need approached you about it. Remember — you are never obligated to become a surrogate, even if a friend or family member asks. Make sure that you research the process ahead of you before agreeing to anything. It’s also a good idea to speak with a surrogacy professional or attorney to learn more about the process. Ask yourself: Are you ready to give up a great deal of time and energy (not to mention your body) to help this loved one in a process that could take a year or more?
- “If we’ve already found our match, do we have to work with an agency?”
Intended parents and surrogates often work with a surrogacy agency to help them find a safe, pre-screened match for the surrogacy process. If you have identified a family member or friend as your intended parent, you will not need an agency’s assistance for this step. However, a surrogacy agency can still provide invaluable services (like case management and counseling) that can come in handy along the way. The choice is always up to you and your intended parents.
- “I don’t want to accept money from my loved one. Can I forgo surrogate compensation?”
It’s common for intended parents to approach a friend or family member to be their surrogate as an attempt to lessen their costs. You can certainly choose to be an altruistic surrogate, but remember that you also have the right to compensation. Even if you don’t receive base compensation, your other costs of surrogacy will always be covered by the intended parents.
- “How do I become a surrogate mother for a friend or family member in Kansas City?”
If you have decided that being a surrogate for a family member or friend is the path for you, you’ll want to contact a surrogacy professional. Whether it’s an agency, a fertility clinic or a surrogacy attorney, they can explain the steps ahead and help you prepare. You will always need a surrogacy attorney to draft a binding contract and negotiate your surrogacy relationship, so contact attorney Kevin Kenney today to get started.
What to Consider About Being a Surrogate for Your Sibling, Friend, Etc.
Becoming a surrogate mother for a family member or friend is a rewarding process — one that often completely changes the relationship between loved ones. After all, generously becoming a surrogate is one of the greatest gifts you can give.
However, there are some things to consider:
- Family Relationships: If you are being a surrogate for your sibling, feelings of sibling rivalry may arise, especially if you are carrying for a sister. An intended mother will naturally have conflicting feelings about another woman carrying her child, and you should be prepared for how emotions of jealousy, hurt and grief may impact your relationship.
- Feelings of Debt: If you are choosing to be a surrogate altruistically, the intended parents may feel like they can never repay you for your decision. Down the road, these feelings can become more complex and even cause strained relationships if not addressed properly.
- Personal Boundaries: Every surrogacy should have healthy boundaries, but the lines may be blurred if you are being a surrogate for a friend or family member. What feels normal now may feel uncomfortable later when the intended parents are over-involving themselves in your journey. This is where properly drafted surrogacy contracts (with expectations and responsibilities) can be so helpful.
If you are ready to learn how to be a surrogate for a family member or friend in Kansas City, please contact attorney Kevin Kenney and his legal team today for legal guidance through this life-changing process.